Saturday, November 21, 2015

NaBoloPoMo Day 21: Live blog of Michigan football

As per Anthony's suggestion, I'm live blogging today's University of Michigan football game. Since we started dating, Anthony has been amused by my novice observations about sports, which mostly have nothing to do with the game. I'm running out of ideas for posts so hopefully this turns out okay enough to post.

Today's Michigan game is against the Penn State Nittany Lions, which aren't even a real animal. I'm feeling optimistic that the wolverines, which are a real animal, can beat a mythological animal.

I'll be republishing this post every few minutes until the end of the game!

  • Kick off: Penn State has possession first. I think this means Michigan won the coin toss.
  • PSU gets the ball and runs to the 9th yard line. This doesn't bode well for Michigan's defense when it's only a minute into the game.
  • I don't like these stickers on Michigan's helmets.
  • Anthony is excited about a portly kicker on PSU but when a normal-sized dude lines up instead, there is disappointment abound.
  • First commercial break. I only watch TV in Michigan so I don't know any of these commercials. I'm sure I'll be sick of them by the end of the day, though. That's right, these football Saturdays last alllllllll day. I have to surgically remove the couch cushion from my butt by midnight.
  • Michigan now has possession. Oh I forgot to say PSU got a field goal when the skinny kicker came out. Score is 3-0.
  • I miss Jake Neck Ryan:
  • Anthony is upset about something but I wasn't looking at the screen.
  • I think he was upset about the "illegal touching," the funniest penalty/flag/foul/whatever they're called.
  • I don't like Chik-fil-a commercials when I am not in a place where I can get Chik-fil-a
  • Michigan gets a touchdown. Yay. 7-3 now.
  • Both teams have white pants today. How many teams have official laundry people who curse all this white? I imagine the grass stains are awful.
  • Some of these players are running out of space on their helmets for those dumb stickers. What happens when they do run out of space?!?
  • Rudock got sacked and then on the next throw, PSU got the interception. 
  • Marc hates the helmet stickers, too. I feel vindicated.
  • Coach Harbaugh looks confused about that penalty. I know that feel, I'm usually confused about what's going on, too.



  • Into the second quarter now. The game goes by much more quickly when I'm trying to figure out what to type here.
  • PSU nearly got a touchdown but Michigan's defense blocked it. I take back what I said earlier about our defense.
  • I can't wait until we order pizza.
  • Oh no, this stupid Dr. Pepper commercial. Do marketing execs sit at board tables and try to figure out how to cause peak annoyance levels in viewers?
  • T-Mobile offers 6GB of data for $30/month. WTF. I pay $80 for 5GB and that's a damn good deal in Canada.
  • Okay, I should probably focus on the football again.
  • Is Jabrill Peppers related to Brian Peppers? I hope not. I'm showing my age with this ancient Internet meme.
  • It's still 7-3 for Michigan. This is kind of a boring quarter.
  • PSU heard me and blocked the punt, whoops.
  • Aaaand Penn State got a touchdown. Score is now 10-7 for Penn State. Jabrill Peppers didn't seem to be looking in the right place when the ball was barreling at him. Shame. That happens to me sometimes too at hockey.
  • 1:57 left in the first half. I hope I can convince Anthony at half-time to order me pizza. These alcoholic root beers go down too easily and drunk live blogging is probably not a good idea today. Gotta stay awake to watch a giant, cartoon anvil drop on the OSU-MSU game later. Or at least, that's what I'm hoping happens. 
  • Grant Perry somehow helped with that touchdown. Good work, making us Perrys proud. Score 14-10 Michigan.
  • Half-time! Time to work on my blog post for yesterday!

  • Third quarter now. Anthony has agreed to order pizza, yay.
  • People keep talking about some red shirt but all I see are white and blue? Just kidding. I actually know what red shirt means, but you thought I didn't.
  • What do you think would happen if that Dr. Pepper guy went to prison? Would he fare better than Jared Fogle or worse? 
  • Michigan picks up a fumbled ball halfway into the 3rd quarter. Third down and goal now. We could use a touchdown to better secure the lead. Oh good, they get it over the line. I feel like this would have somehow gone wrong before this year.
  • Anthony wins MVP of this game for finally ordering me pizza.
  • It appears two players kind of lightly bumped into each other while running for the ball and a flag has been thrown. People are not happy about this.
  • Penn State sacked again. How often do you think sacks and illegal touching go hand in hand? Har har...happy now, Bryan??? (Bryan wanted me to blog raunchy football puns.)
  • Michigan failed to tackle a player properly until he had waddled over to the 3 yard line. My guess is a Penn State touchdown is imminent but of course, we have to go to a commercial first so Penn State can recover enough energy to complete the touchdown. Sigh. 

  • Fourth quarter! Maybe I should live blog more often...time flies when you're actually paying attention. 
  • Penn State failed to get that touchdown but I forgot to watch...they did get a field goal, though. Score is 21-13 I think. 
  • I just realized that this is my 6th year watching college football, which is longer than any of the players play, and I still know very little about it.
  • Why isn't the pizza here yet?
  • PSU is probably about to score another touchdown. Michigan's defense seems like they're just not quick enough today, but that's my uneducated opinion.
  • Another Penn State field goal. 21-16. 
  • This Dr. Pepper idiot again. Oh, now they have a hashtag for this guy. No, just no. Go to hell with this shit. No one wants to discuss your awful marketing campaign on social media. The only acceptable Dr. Peppers hashtag is #bringbackpitbull
  • There's 8 minutes left so if Michigan doesn't score during this possession, this game might become more of a nail biter. IMHO.
  • Michigan gets the touchdown, 28-16 Michigan now. Penn State will be hardpressed to get back into the lead but if they get it together, maybe Michigan's poky defense will struggle to keep up? Does this make any sense?!?! Is that an accurate observation?!
  • The above is an accurate portrayal of Jaime: Football Live Blogger.
  • THE PIZZA IS HERE. 
  • Penn State crowd is unhappy with their loss. That's too bad. 
  • Well that's it, folks. I made it through a whole game. Time to eat pizza and fall asleep on the couch!

P.S. I sometimes tweet my thoughts about sports at Jaime Talks Sports, if you're interested in more absurd observations from a sports nut (and I mean nut in a bad way).

1 comment:

  1. Big Ten refs aren't consistent in calling legal vs illegal touching!

    ReplyDelete

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