Saturday, November 14, 2015

NaBloPoMo Day 14: Advice I live by

Today's post is coming to you from my phone while I sit in a bar with Anthony and watch U of Michigan football. Well, he's going to watch and I'm going to stare at my phone until I get this done.

Nobody commented on my French post so I can only assume it was complete gibberish. I did feel spooked after that there were terrorist attacks in France yesterday, too. Sad coincidence.

Today's theme is advice I live by.

Something I heard recently that I really like is "a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle." In my life I've experienced both good and bad bosses in my career. Bad bosses easily distinguish themselves as they are keen to stay in a position of power over their subordinates, instead of elevating everyone up to their level as best they can while still being a manager. Outside of work, I have a tendency to be competitive and jealous of other people in certain situations, even if I never express it. The words about the candle help me remember that I lose nothing by being supportive of people around me, and there is a level of relief in that for me.

Of course, the classic golden rule is also something I live by and try to internalize as much as possible. It's easy to navigate confusing situations when you can ask yourself what you would want in that situation.

One thing you may know about me is that I read advice columns religiously, and have since the days when Ann Landers was still alive. After she passed away, I started reading syndicated columns online. When my favourite advice columnist, Dear Margo retired, I started reading Carolyn Hax. I like Carolyn's advice because she is closer in age to me than Margo and Annie's Mailbox, which means I agree with her advice more often than the columnists from different generations.

A recurring theme in Carolyn's columns is that you can't change people, you can only accept their behaviour and act in a way that gives you peace of mind. This has helped me appreciate my friends and family more for who they are and what benefit they provide to me, rather than focusing on what they're not giving me or what they're doing wrong.

I'm also a huge proponent of not worrying about things until they actually become an issue, I.E. "not crossing the bridge before we get there." There are so many things people worry about that never end up happened. Granted, I have no idea what it's like to have kids because I know parenting involves perpetual worry. But with everything else, I like to think I keep pretty zen.

Well, I think I have spent enough time staring at my phone during this game! Time to pay attention!

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