Thursday, August 15, 2013

On Wife Blogs

Something that has really been bugging me lately is the popularity of what I call "wife blogs."

Normally, I'm a "live and let live" kind of person, but I've noticed in the past year that these blogs are gaining prevalence, and the whole thing rubs me the wrong way.

For the sake of not being an asshole, I'm not going to link to any specific blogs. If you have no idea what I mean by wife blogs, do yourself and a favour and skip reading this post. Close the window. Go on leading the life you're living, because you've already got it under control.

So how do you know you're on a wife blog? Generally it's going to have a custom design with a gigantic title, usually including the girl's first name. Pastels are a dead giveaway. Also prominently displayed will be a photo of the girl, sometimes with the husband, sometimes not. She'll look somewhere between the ages of 19 and 30, and it'll probably be a black and white photo, it'll probably be outside, and she'll probably be beaming this big, phony smile.

The blog will feature such headers as "About the Girl!" "Our Love Story!" "About our Son/Daughter!"

You will have the option of clicking over to their Facebook page created for their blog, Twitter account created for the blog, Pinterest, and Instagram. No wife blog is complete without a million ways to worship the blogger, like she's some kind of celebrity.

Let me cut to the chase. This is what bugs me about these blogs, in no particular order:

1. The vast majority of these blogs are all fluff and no substance. It's all just garbage: ugly filtered photos linked over from Instagram of vacations, meals they ate, drinks they drank, shoes they wore, selfies, pet photos. Maybe I'm crazy, but I want to read about your thoughts. I don't need to see this glamorized version of your life that makes you seem more vain and vapid than you really are. What do you think about? What do you worry about? What scares you? What are your goals in life?

2. Between all the fluff is even more crap. Giveaways, sponsored reviews, link ups. Wow, way to thin out an already thin blog. It's all a big contest for advertising revenue, comments and attention. I feel like I'm looking at a Cosmo magazine written by one person.

3. They reinforce the idea that the only thing interesting about women is their appearance, their marital status and their mommy status. These tend to be the main topics of their blog entries. The wife of an old friend of mine has a terrific blog in which she wrote about this very problem with our society.

Guaran-fucking-teed, the first thing you're going to do when you stumble upon a blog that has an "about me" page is click the "about me" page. It's harmless and it's human nature, of course you're interested. It would just be awesome to actually learn something about that blogger apart from her marital status and number of children (this includes "fur babies"). Also, spare me the cutesy talk. "I'm Jaime. I've been married to my high school sweetheart for five years!! We have a beautiful baby girl named [atrocious name with many superfluous "y"s]. I have an IRRATIONAL LOVE of cheese, H&M socks, and if I won the lottery, I would spend all day cuddling baby pandas! Squeeeeee!"

Blog posts tend to be pretty light topics of absolutely no controversial matter and no deep thoughts. Everything they write about is a harmless, self-congratulatory anecdote of no real substance.

These blogs, and the comments they accumulate, leave me with this ill feeling that all my fellow women care about is weddings, husbands, kids, and looking aesthetically pleasing.

There is one blog that I've been reading regularly for a year now that falls into all of the criteria I listed above. The blogger is very different from me, we share very different values, and I highly doubt we'd be friends "in real life." I've even complained to Anthony in the past that I'm not sure why I read her blog, since it contains all of the garbage in #1 and #2, and I have nothing in common with this person.

Suddenly, on a drive to work the other day, it occurred to me why her blog is so immensely popular: she constantly posts photos of herself and her husband (and now baby). She has made her life extremely public and accessible. For some reason, it's addictive. We always want to see more. What drives this voyeuristic tendency? A need to judge? Insecurity? The need to seek an available role model?

It bothers me reading rows and rows of comments of, "Wow, you look so awesome! I wish I was as pretty as you!" and other comments about these bloggers' personal appearances. It's been blowing my mind progressively more noticing how much value is placed on women's appearances.

Also, I do feel the need to make a disclaimer that I realize getting married and having kids is a big part of people's lives, I'm not diminishing that. My entire point is that there's more to life than just these things, and it's sad when these institutions seem to comprise 100% of people's lives to the point where they no longer have an identity. You're more than just a wife, a mom, a brunette. You are a person with thoughts and opinions, and our world would be a better place if you shared those thoughts, rather than drown them out with shitty Instagram photos of your breakfast.

I've been on the lookout for more cerebral blogs written by women, or really anyone for that matter. Sorry to sound harsh, but I don't give a shit about your Pinterest-inspired house, your recent purchases, your anniversary vacation, or any other meaningless crap other 20-something women sadly seem to care about. I want food for thought, damn it. If you know of some good blogs, please, by all means, link me up.


  1. Damn, now I feel pressure to put something more important into my blog posts! ahahhah At least I don't have the perfect header photo of us all smiling!

    1. Oh Kara, you don't have one of these cliche wife blogs, trust me. You post honest thoughts of actual substance, combined with fun stuff and your various projects. Your blog is a breath of fresh air.

    2. I need to read this blog please lol im so curiuos now, can you please message me the link thanks !
      (dont bother with mine, i have been neglecting it lol)

  2. Heyyyy, my name's Torriee and I have a gorgeous daughter named Myckynzey. Anyway, I totally agree. I've been reading for a few years. It's written by two sisters and it's mostly lifestyle stuff with a lot of recipes, DIYs, and photos thrown in. It's sort of a "wife blog" but with substance. For a more food related one, try It's paleo food and lifestyle stuff in one.



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