NaBloPoMo Day 25: Why I Blog

I have to admit that the blogging break I semi-intentionally took was pretty nice. I was in Ann Arbor from Thursday to Sunday and I just didn't feel like picking up my computer to write anything. I am going to finish the entries I had left to write, although there's only one or two more to go because I had a few days where I didn't have a topic. At this point, I don't really care. This was an experiment and it ended up being a challenge as I picked pretty heavy topics and had several days I had no time to write. Anyway, on with the post...

Back in 2013, I talked about how I've been journaling on the regular since 1998. It's something I'm really proud of, and I don't think I will ever not chronicle my life's inane events.

Blogging publicly is newer to me. I started in 2006 when I found out I would be moving to Nunavut. I started the blog because in those days, there was very little information for people moving north. I chronicled our entire move north, our acclimatization into northern living, my subsequent move to Iqaluit alone, and what it was like to leave the north and move back to Ontario.

However, blogging has not been without its headaches. There was a period of time where I was receiving negative attention via blog comments from people who had personal, non-blog-related issues with me, and thought insulting me "anonymously" online was a good way to get back at me...or something. It was frustrating and I started to feel like I should stop blogging, because then I wouldn't be giving these people more ammo with which to insult me. In the end I decided to just keep on doing my thing and ignore the haters, so to speak.



Fortunately, the storm has passed and those people seem to have moved on.

These days, my life is a lot less interesting in that I am a stereotypical millennial living a stereotypical life in a stereotypical place. I like blogging about my daily life, and I think there is value in writing about various personal things that others may shy away from.

Here are the reason why I've continued to blog for 9.5 years:

1. To help others. This is really the main reason I blog. I get a lot of hits on my blog from people looking for information pertaining to jaw surgery. Likewise, I have read many jaw surgery and braces blogs in the past 2 years, and I am grateful for every person who shares their experience. I don't know what I would have done without these people, because it's through their stories that I could be better prepared for my own surgery.

Before the jaw surgery, I would get lots of hits pertaining to the Wilton classes I took, and long before that, my Nunavut blog was very popular on Google. I heard from several people when I lived up north that my Nunavut blog had helped them either decide or prepare to move north.

As far as the more personal entries I've written, I think it's important to talk about topics others might not be willing to write about. I am happy to see mental health become less taboo to discuss and I am happy to contribute to reducing the stigma. I understand and respect people's desire for privacy, but if no one is willing to discuss the gritty details of life, how can we ever grow as individuals and as a society? I personally lose nothing by talking about my issues with body image, anxiety, and other struggles. If it helps someone else realize they're not alone in whatever struggle we may share, I've done my (unpaid) job. We so closely guard our weaknesses in life, especially from friends and family, but I don't necessarily think that's a good thing.

2. To meet people. I've met a few people because of my public blogs, as well as my private Livejournal. My husband Anthony is one such person, as he found my Nunavut blog back in 2009 and added me to Twitter. I've met a few of my Livejournal friends from over the years as well as a few people who used to read my old Nunavut blog. I've also met some of the "original" Nunavut bloggers.

3. Because I have a need to write. I love to write for an audience, but I'm not at all interested in doing it professionally. Blogging is really the perfect way to write something people (might) read, and there are no deadlines, editors, or topics you have to mind. Also, I do so much private writing on my Livejournal that I enjoy flexing a different muscle by writing something meant for a wider audience. These entries are more work but I like taking my time and crafting something I can be proud of.



4. To help myself. The best thing about writing is that it makes it easy to organize and recognize your feelings about something. If it's something that's bothering me, I pretty much always feel better after I write about it. Seeing your thoughts and feeling written into words often has the ability to help you see more objectively, which can be beneficial. I can't tell you how many times I've written something in my Livejournal that was bugging me, only to read back on it and think, "Holy crap this is stupid/common/not a big deal."

5. Because hearing "I read your blog" is the freakin' best compliment ever.

NaBloPoMo Day 24: Driving Anxiety

Well, I'm sitting down to try and pump out a few entries and I really wish I had some wine and cookies or something I now have wine and Lindor chocolates. Yes, I wrote that sentence and then decided that I'm a grown woman and I need wine and chocolate, so I went out and got them.

Today the topic is about my driving anxiety. I'm actually a little uncomfortable writing about it as it's something I only recently acknowledged about myself. It's going to be a bit of a longer entry as I've half-assed some entries this month which I'm not happy about.

I mentioned it briefly yesterday, but I used to have nightmares about driving and getting into accidents. Either the brakes wouldn't work or I'd realize I was sitting in the backseat and no one was steering the car (okay there, brain). By the time I was 16, I wasn't interested in learning to drive. Considering my mom is a driving instructor, she wasn't too pleased with me. I was very involved in community theatre at the time and was always needing rides downtown and whatnot. I didn't really think about whether or not I would eventually learn to drive, I just sort of waited to see how I felt.

When I started dating my now-ex, he put the pressure on me to get my license. Right around my 18th birthday, I wrote the test to get a beginner's license. I still remember that I got only one question wrong; the hand signal for a right turn. My mom ripped into me over it and nagged me for ages, despite the fact it was the only question I got wrong and it's hardly relevant to everyday driving.

I did my driving lessons through the school my mom works for, although not with her. No way in hell. Driving around town during non-lessons with my mom was bad enough since we would use the school's car with the passenger side brake pedal. I was a mouthy teenager as it was and so let's just say that my mom got called a few choice words when I was learning to drive and she'd grab the wheel or slam on the brakes for no reason whatsoever. Teenagers and driving instructors do not belong in the same family!


I really enjoyed my driving lessons and I did well. For the G1 exit test (to drive on your own but with restrictions), I had to drive in heavy snowfall. For the G2 exit test (to get your full license), I had to drive in heavy rain. Both times the weather played into me getting one or two errors, but I still passed both with scores in the 90s. Fortunately my mom had lightened up by this time, and was actually mad on my behalf that they held me to such high standards despite the poor road conditions. Even my driving instructor was mad at the road test centre for giving me any errors because I was such a great driver. /humblebrag

Shortly after I got my full license, the anxiety set in. I had to drive to London for a show I was involved in, and all we had in those days were shitty Mapquest printouts. I hated driving in new places and when I inevitably got lost, I was bawling my eyes out, trying to find a road that was actually on the printout. I have since gotten a GPS which made a huge difference as far as my fear of being lost.

I moved to London later that year and don't recall having any problems, except that I hated driving in that city. I would borrow J's car on my days off to go shopping. It always ended up with me swearing a blue streak at other drivers (through closed windows). I still hate driving in London to this day.

My anxiety went away when I drove up north because let's be honest, 40kmh/25mph is driving fast up there. Also, driving from Apex to Federal Road (ie one end of town to the other) takes maybe 6 or 7 minutes.

When I moved back to Ontario, that's when I really started to have a problem. My anxiety doesn't bother me so much before I drive or while I'm driving; I never dread driving anywhere. It's after the fact. I know that my big weakness in life is ruminating intensely for days over non-incidents. Shortly after I moved back, I was in a parking lot and darted across a section of the lot, nowhere near an approaching driver. As I parked my car, some lady I must have startled slowed down and angrily mouth "FUCK YOU" at me from her car. Nothing like that ever happened to me up north, and it bothered me for weeks.

Any kind incident in my car wrecks me mentally for at least a day, if not weeks. I lie in bed at night and obsess over the fact I accidentally cut someone off, or came close to side swiping somebody. In the spring I was nearly in an accident that would have been mostly my fault, but not 100%. But for probably a month, I was so scared I was going to cause an accident. I go through these phases a few times a year where I am absolutely convinced I'm going to cause an accident.

Any time I make a dumb mistake while driving, I feel so intensely guilty that I can't shake it. It replays in my mind over and over and I have to swear to myself 7000 times it'll never happen again. I don't know if other people are like this, but to me it feels unhealthy. Logically I know that everybody makes mistakes sometimes and that it won't be the end of the world if I do cause an accident. Nobody is perfect and if I caused an accident, it doesn't necessarily make me a bad person. I don't drive drunk and I have tried to retain all my good habits from driving school. I am doing the best I can.

However, no logic could help when it came to the accident that Anthony and I witnessed in 2013. I don't think I've talked about it too much, but we were driving to Kincardine for a weekend. It was getting dark and out of nowhere, we saw a truck fly across the road ahead of us and end up in a yard. Long story short, we stopped to help, called 911 and discovered there were actually two vehicles. Both drivers were unconscious and neither survived. That was a first for me and I hope it's the last. I still don't like driving on rural roads at night, and I am brought to tears just by seeing smashed up cars as I drive by accidents now. It was a very sobering reminder about how dangerous driving can be.

Obviously, witnessing that accident didn't help my anxiety and if anything, it has become worse. Sometimes I lie in bed at night after a day of driving with no incidents, and I obsess over whether I was actually paying enough attention while driving. Nothing went wrong, but I could swear I could have done better.



A big part of why I hate driving is, of course, other drivers. I expect other drivers to use their turn signal, not hog the left lane, not roll through stops or turn into the wrong lane, but I've learned my expectations are way too high. People just plain suck at driving. Canadians best be glad I'm not the Prime Minister because holy moly would I ever change things when it comes to having a driver's license. Okay, driver licensing is actually managed by each province/territory but it is way too lax in my opinion. How I would change things could fill a whole other blog entry so we'll just leave it at the fact that some day I might just cut up my license with a pair of scissors and vow to take the bus everywhere.



I have no real conclusion for this post, because there is no denouement to my anxiety. I don't have a nice little bow to wrap it up in and present it to you like I'm somehow getting better, because I'm not.

I would be interested to hear if other people have issues with driving similar to mine, and how you manage it.

NaBloPoMo Day 23: Being Childfree (Part 2)

In October I solicited topic ideas for this month, and one of the suggestions was that I discuss being childfree. I did discuss it a few years ago (see this post), but I focused more on the origins of my "childfreedom" rather than my current feelings about it. I feel like there is room to finish my thoughts on it, and so this will likely be the last time I talk about it. When it comes to life choices, too much talk can come across as sounding secretly unsure and trying in vain to cover the insecurity. That's why this will be the last of my posts about it.

If you didn't read my first post, this is a brief recap: growing up, my parents seemed to resent being parents and acted like raising kids was a mistake and a burden. My mom told me a few times her life would have been way easier if we/I weren't/wasn't around. Their harsh sentiments combined with their friendships with happy childfree people made a huge impression on me, and I decided in early childhood that I did not want to have children.
I do think it's entirely possible to overcome crappy parenting and I think my siblings and I are good evidence of that fact. We all have decent jobs, no criminal record, we vote, and we are otherwise productive members of society. My brother and his wife just recently had a baby which is awesome. I am so happy to see our family grow and change, since the dynamic has been the same for 24+ years.

I would be lying if I said that holding my niece for the first time didn't make my brain and ovaries go crazy for about a week, but I came out of the new baby fog back to the same old stance: motherhood is not for me.

For starters, I am an absolute wreck after just one bad night of sleep. Anthony and I recently went to Minneapolis for the weekend and despite the fact it wasn't an overly exhausting trip, I still ended up sleeping through my alarm for two hours on Monday morning.

After a few days to a week of bad sleep, I start to experience visual and auditory hallucinations at nighttime. For example, when I was an assistant stage manager for a musical in 2011, I was a little stressed out during "hell week" (the week before the show opens). Hell week involves several exhausting late nights in a row, and by the end of it, I was waking up in the middle night, hallucinating that I was backstage. It continued during the run of the show, with me waking up in the middle of the night and wandering around my room half-asleep, thinking I was backstage. I ended up having to take an afternoon off work to go home and catch up on sleep, as I was a zombie at work. This is just one example of my hallucinations, mind you.

I think about what having a child would be like: possible sleep deprivation for months, if not years on end. Would I even wake up for baby's cries? Would I become so zombie-like that I would potentially do something dangerous while sleep walking? I can't handle even one night of less than 7 hours of sleep. What about months? What about years? And even if I don't do something dangerous while sleepwalking, am I going to be in a compromised state of mind? Functioning on so little sleep, can I still be a good wife, friend, employee?



Some people seem to think that not having children is selfish, like apparently children are a debt you owe to society or something. My parents are well aware of my desire to not be a parent and they don't care. My mom has a granddaughter now and god willing, Anthony's mom will become a grandma in January, so I can wipe my hands clean of any lingering guilt I might have had about not giving them a grandchild. As far as the selfish remark goes, I don't understand how not having a child is selfish, but having a child isn't.  In many instances, children are brought into the world for purely selfish reasons, so I hope the whole "childfree people are selfish" thing dies a quick death.


I do admit that another large part of my desire to remain childfree is that I want to live my life in such a way where I really only need to worry about myself and Anthony. I want to be able to sleep in whenever I want, take naps whenever I want, disappear in a hot bath for hours on end, take an impulsive road trip, go to the bar with friends without needing to find a babysitter. Parents like to tell me that these things are so worth it or that it's different when it's your child, and I'm sure that's true. But looking at it from my perspective, I don't think I'd enjoy parenthood enough to sacrifice so much. I try to imagine a mini me smiling at me for the first time or saying something to me like, "You're my best friend, Mom!", and I feel zero desire to make that a reality. Imagining myself as a parent does not cause any emotions to bubble up in me other than indifference.

Of course, my subconscious loves to play the "imagine Jaime as a parent" game. I often dream about being a parent and I am always lousy at it. I mentioned it in my first post, but I often dream that I have a child and I forget about it for days on end. Someone will ask how my baby is doing and I'll be like, "Oh shit, I left that thing in the closet last week. I should probably go check on it, shouldn't I?" Then I spend the rest of the dream freaking out that I've probably just murdered my own offspring. I wake up sweating from those dreams.


Before I got my driver's license, I frequently dreamt about getting into car accidents. It was one of the reasons I waited until I was 18 to get my beginner's license. I look at the fact I have anxiety about driving and that driving constantly pisses me off, and I wonder if the connection between my parenting nightmares would be the same as my driving nightmares and how much I hate driving.

I think by far the biggest reason I choose not to have children is that I just feel no desire to raise a human being. I like taking care of things/people, but I don't want it to be a full-time job for the rest of my life. I am excited to be present for my niece's and future nephew's journey through life, and I am elated at the idea that I might get to be a part of their development, but I have no desire to be a primary caretaker. I don't feel any need whatsoever to help shape a human being into a happy member of society using my love and guidance. I understand that appeal to others, but there is nothing there for me. As I mentioned above, I imagine myself in various parenting situations (both the happy and the grueling) and I feel nothing. I used to feel disgust and repulsion, but now I just feel content with the idea that I don't need to be a parent. The older I get, the more content with it I feel...and that's all I can really say!

NaBloPoMo Day 22: Deciding to change my last name

Yesterday's post...I apologize for not being perfectly on schedule. I definitely underestimated how many days I would have where I just straight up did not have time to write. I am finding that I have to sacrifice other important things in order to get these entries done, which I'm not always willing to do.

I've talked about it before, but Anthony and I knew pretty early into our relationship that we wanted to get married. It was one of those cases of "when you know, you know." It still sounds silly to me, but it really was just like, "Yep, this is it!"

The first of several times I accidentally signed my maiden name instead of my married name!

All of this is to say that I knew very early on that I would take Anthony's last name when we got married. I didn't really think about it too much, other than sometimes letting my inner 14 year old girl take over by practising what my name and signature would look like.

Just a disclaimer that I am not going to use my last name in this entry as I don't like turning up in Google searches. I am fairly certain that I am the only Jaime "Last Name" that ever existed, making me that much more wary of using it here.

I'm not a traditional person in most ways, but taking Anthony's last name was important to me. I like the idea of sharing a family name and having my marriage be part of my public identity. We dated for over 5 years before getting married and in all that time, I didn't question it whatsoever.

That's why I was surprised when I found myself doubting the decision.

A few months before we got married, I had to apply for an employee ID card at work. I knew I wouldn't be getting the card until after we were married, so I had to ask my work to make the card with my new last name. Sending the email requesting it was surprisingly difficult. I stared at my words on the screen, not totally confident I wanted to take the plunge. I decided to take a night and sleep on it. I felt marginally better about it the next day, so I sent the email. That card was the very first thing I signed in my new last name.

The rest of the cards I needed to change did not present quite the same struggle. Still, it was weird to see a different last name next to my first name.

It hasn't helped that Anthony's last name is very Italian. If you see the spelling of it first, it's difficult to guess how it's pronounced. If you hear it first, it's even harder to spell. My own guess prior to our meeting was hilariously wrong. To this day I won't repeat how I thought it was pronounced, because I'm embarrassed at how incorrect it was. Anthony doesn't even know.

Having people constantly botch my name is annoying, although I know I am in good company as it's a common problem with surnames. I guess I've just been spoiled up until now.

My maiden name, Perry, is pretty generic and aside from the rare "Jaime Terry" showing up on things, I didn't usually have a problem. I now have to spell my first AND last name, usually twice for people. I realize it's not the worst problem in the world to have, but it has made accepting my new last name more difficult.

My other issue is that as far as I know, I am 0% Italian. I realize it's "just a name" but I've been calling myself a faux Italian as it feels weird to have a different ethnicity attached to my identity.

Of course, there is a Seinfeld episode that covers this exact problem:



If I ever give you a recipe for pasta or pizzelles, you may want to throw it in the trash. ;-)

If you have known me long enough, you may remember that I took my ex-husband's last name when I was previously married. I felt like it was a pretty seamless transition as his surname was English/Scottish and easy to pronounce and spell. I figured taking Anthony's last name would be as easy at that was, but since I am not even remotely Italian, it's been a lot more difficult.

My other problem is that taking a man's last name seems like a very outdated idea. I take issue with the fact that many men, my husband included, aren't even willing to discuss changing their last name after marriage. Why should we as women be expected to do something our husbands are not? And the idea that I'd be still be using my "maiden" name, like I'm some virginal young girl and not a grown-ass woman.

After considering all of these things, I still wanted Anthony and I to share a last name, so I just went with it. It's not a perfect solution, but I have made peace with it. I do really enjoy sharing his name and being "The Last Names." I also would really like to visit Italy sometime in the near future so that I can feel more connected to my phony Italian heritage. I need to find some low carb Italian recipes because it'd be nice to try cooking something Italian for Anthony.

Anyway, I hope none of this comes across as me having an opinion either way about whether women should or shouldn't keep their maiden name. I think the best thing you can do is be true to yourself and make the decision that you can live with.

NaBoloPoMo Day 21: Live blog of Michigan football

As per Anthony's suggestion, I'm live blogging today's University of Michigan football game. Since we started dating, Anthony has been amused by my novice observations about sports, which mostly have nothing to do with the game. I'm running out of ideas for posts so hopefully this turns out okay enough to post.

Today's Michigan game is against the Penn State Nittany Lions, which aren't even a real animal. I'm feeling optimistic that the wolverines, which are a real animal, can beat a mythological animal.

I'll be republishing this post every few minutes until the end of the game!

• Kick off: Penn State has possession first. I think this means Michigan won the coin toss.
• PSU gets the ball and runs to the 9th yard line. This doesn't bode well for Michigan's defense when it's only a minute into the game.
• I don't like these stickers on Michigan's helmets.
• Anthony is excited about a portly kicker on PSU but when a normal-sized dude lines up instead, there is disappointment abound.
• First commercial break. I only watch TV in Michigan so I don't know any of these commercials. I'm sure I'll be sick of them by the end of the day, though. That's right, these football Saturdays last alllllllll day. I have to surgically remove the couch cushion from my butt by midnight.
• Michigan now has possession. Oh I forgot to say PSU got a field goal when the skinny kicker came out. Score is 3-0.
• I miss Jake Neck Ryan:
• 
• Anthony is upset about something but I wasn't looking at the screen.
• I think he was upset about the "illegal touching," the funniest penalty/flag/foul/whatever they're called.
• I don't like Chik-fil-a commercials when I am not in a place where I can get Chik-fil-a
• Michigan gets a touchdown. Yay. 7-3 now.
• Both teams have white pants today. How many teams have official laundry people who curse all this white? I imagine the grass stains are awful.
• Some of these players are running out of space on their helmets for those dumb stickers. What happens when they do run out of space?!?
• Rudock got sacked and then on the next throw, PSU got the interception. 
• Marc hates the helmet stickers, too. I feel vindicated.
• Coach Harbaugh looks confused about that penalty. I know that feel, I'm usually confused about what's going on, too.

• Into the second quarter now. The game goes by much more quickly when I'm trying to figure out what to type here.
• PSU nearly got a touchdown but Michigan's defense blocked it. I take back what I said earlier about our defense.
• I can't wait until we order pizza.
• Oh no, this stupid Dr. Pepper commercial. Do marketing execs sit at board tables and try to figure out how to cause peak annoyance levels in viewers?
• T-Mobile offers 6GB of data for $30/month. WTF. I pay $80 for 5GB and that's a damn good deal in Canada.
• Okay, I should probably focus on the football again.
• Is Jabrill Peppers related to Brian Peppers? I hope not. I'm showing my age with this ancient Internet meme.
• It's still 7-3 for Michigan. This is kind of a boring quarter.
• PSU heard me and blocked the punt, whoops.
• Aaaand Penn State got a touchdown. Score is now 10-7 for Penn State. Jabrill Peppers didn't seem to be looking in the right place when the ball was barreling at him. Shame. That happens to me sometimes too at hockey.
• 1:57 left in the first half. I hope I can convince Anthony at half-time to order me pizza. These alcoholic root beers go down too easily and drunk live blogging is probably not a good idea today. Gotta stay awake to watch a giant, cartoon anvil drop on the OSU-MSU game later. Or at least, that's what I'm hoping happens. 
• 
• Grant Perry somehow helped with that touchdown. Good work, making us Perrys proud. Score 14-10 Michigan.
• Half-time! Time to work on my blog post for yesterday!

• Third quarter now. Anthony has agreed to order pizza, yay.
• People keep talking about some red shirt but all I see are white and blue? Just kidding. I actually know what red shirt means, but you thought I didn't.
• What do you think would happen if that Dr. Pepper guy went to prison? Would he fare better than Jared Fogle or worse? 
• Michigan picks up a fumbled ball halfway into the 3rd quarter. Third down and goal now. We could use a touchdown to better secure the lead. Oh good, they get it over the line. I feel like this would have somehow gone wrong before this year.
• Anthony wins MVP of this game for finally ordering me pizza.
• It appears two players kind of lightly bumped into each other while running for the ball and a flag has been thrown. People are not happy about this.
• Penn State sacked again. How often do you think sacks and illegal touching go hand in hand? Har har...happy now, Bryan??? (Bryan wanted me to blog raunchy football puns.)
• Michigan failed to tackle a player properly until he had waddled over to the 3 yard line. My guess is a Penn State touchdown is imminent but of course, we have to go to a commercial first so Penn State can recover enough energy to complete the touchdown. Sigh. 

• Fourth quarter! Maybe I should live blog more often...time flies when you're actually paying attention. 
• Penn State failed to get that touchdown but I forgot to watch...they did get a field goal, though. Score is 21-13 I think. 
• I just realized that this is my 6th year watching college football, which is longer than any of the players play, and I still know very little about it.
• Why isn't the pizza here yet?
• PSU is probably about to score another touchdown. Michigan's defense seems like they're just not quick enough today, but that's my uneducated opinion.
• Another Penn State field goal. 21-16. 
• This Dr. Pepper idiot again. Oh, now they have a hashtag for this guy. No, just no. Go to hell with this shit. No one wants to discuss your awful marketing campaign on social media. The only acceptable Dr. Peppers hashtag is #bringbackpitbull
• There's 8 minutes left so if Michigan doesn't score during this possession, this game might become more of a nail biter. IMHO.
• Michigan gets the touchdown, 28-16 Michigan now. Penn State will be hardpressed to get back into the lead but if they get it together, maybe Michigan's poky defense will struggle to keep up? Does this make any sense?!?! Is that an accurate observation?!
• 
• The above is an accurate portrayal of Jaime: Football Live Blogger.
• THE PIZZA IS HERE. 
• Penn State crowd is unhappy with their loss. That's too bad. 
• Well that's it, folks. I made it through a whole game. Time to eat pizza and fall asleep on the couch!

P.S. I sometimes tweet my thoughts about sports at Jaime Talks Sports, if you're interested in more absurd observations from a sports nut (and I mean nut in a bad way).

NaBloPoMo Day 20: Favourite things from weddings

I know, I know. I'm already done Saturday's entry and I haven't finished Friday's. I wasn't home at all on Friday except to pack my stuff and leave for Ann Arbor. Anthony and I went out last night so I really was not home at all yesterday.

Today I counted them up, and Anthony and I have been to 14 weddings together, which span 2010-2015. This excludes our own wedding. I had only been to one wedding before Anthony and I started dating, and that was back in 1994!

At this point, we consider ourselves wedding connoisseurs. Some of the weddings have been more memorable than others for various reasons, but we always have a good time when we're celebrating love with our friends!

When I was soliciting ideas for blog posts, it was suggested on my Facebook that I write about cookie tables, which are a wedding tradition in Pittsburgh (where we had just attended a wedding). I decided to modify that a bit and discuss my favourite parts of weddings we've been to. I keep saying, "we" but these are actually what I've liked...although Anthony did help me remember a few details.

These are in no particular order:

1. Great wedding favours. I'm always a fan of edible wedding favours but we've been to a few weddings with really cute take-home favours. One wedding gave each guest a laminated cookbook of recipes contributed by friends and family of the bride and groom. Another wedding had mini picture frames with a photograph of the couple. Another couple who have travelled a lot together gave these little boxes made out of folded maps, and inside was a mini travel journal and Michigan M-shaped crayons.

2. The cookie table! Of course I had to mention this. I had never heard of this tradition until our friends who live in Pittsburgh asked me to bring some Canadian cookies for their cookie table. I had to google this strange (but compelling) request, which led me to the Wikipedia article about it. I was immediately excited as I love cookies, and now I knew there would be cookies at this wedding. I think typically the cookies for the cookie tables are homemade, but I decided to bring cookies that are popular in Canada but not sold in the US. I brought Fudgee-Os, Mr. Maples, and Pirates. Honestly, it's kind of ridiculous that Fudgee-Os aren't sold in America, but hey, I guess Americans have been doing just fine without them. From what I could tell, the Canadian cookies got eaten up which made me proud.

Now that I'm thinking about it, we did go to a wedding last year in Michigan that had a table set up with more slices of wedding cake and vanilla frosted sugar cookies! The lady who had baked the cake and cookies was there serving up the goods, and they were so friggin' good that I think I went back for seconds, thirds, fourths and probably 67ths.


The cookie table from the Pittsburgh wedding

3. Having the ceremony and reception in one location. We've been to a few weddings like this and I think it's great. For starters, it usually means the whole event is a bit shorter as there is no break between the ceremony and reception. Secondly, it makes parking and driving much more convenient as you're not driving to and/or paying for parking at two different locations. As you may know, Anthony and I had our ceremony and reception in one space and I was happy about it.

Honourable mention: photo booths. Us and my princess brother at his wedding.

4. Candy tables! Not quite as unique as the Pennsylvania cookie table tradition, but pretty great nonetheless. Bonus points if the couple has provided "doggy bags" to take some home.

5. Open bar. I don't need to explain this.

Us on a party bus, on the way to a wedding in Minneapolis

6. Celebrity officiant. Our good friends who live in Cleveland had Andrew WK officiate their wedding which was pretty cool. Andrew even stayed for the reception with his wife. I only had the chance to talk to him once but he was friendly and polite. Pretty badass.

Also, Bone Thugs n Harmony were staying at the same hotel as us in Cleveland which was amusing.

7. Interesting venues. We've gone to some pretty beautiful weddings including outdoors in Maui, an old church in downtown Detroit, a botanical garden, and one of my favourite weddings: a top floor event space at a Vegas resort. Said space had a balcony with an amazing view of Vegas and the surrounding area, as well as a rare desert lightning storm.

The aforementioned Maui wedding

8. I think above all, my favourite thing about weddings (besides seeing our friends tie the knot) is getting to spend time with our friends. The best times in life are spent with friends, and weddings allow for lots of hangs with friends.

Honourable mention: weddings with cornhole (Photo by Victoria Way Photography)

NaBloPoMo Day 19: Places I Want to Visit

I've been fortunate in that I've already been able to travel, although the only time I've ever left continental North America was Hawaii in 2011, and Hawaii is still politically North American.

As far as countries are concerned, I've only been to Canada, the USA, and Mexico. I realize a literal world of wonders awaits me in other countries, but it has been very important to me to see Canada before I start venturing outside the country and continent. Why, you wonder? Well, for starters I am a proud Canadian and I love every corner of our country that I've been able to see so far. Secondly, Canada is so large, with so much to offer in every province and territory. Canadians are fiercely proud of their Canadian heritage, no matter whether they're from the mountains of BC, the tundra of Nunavut, to the fishing villages of Newfoundland. We are all part of something amazing and I like seeing how the culture of Canada plays out in every place I visit.

Next year I'll be turning 30 and I am planning to visit the Yukon, the last place I need to see before I've seen every province and territory in Canada. I wanted to visit them all by the time I was 30 but in reality, I will have visited everything between 2007 and 2016. Not bad.

This is my current "places travelled" map:


Once Anthony and I visit the Yukon next year, I'm going to start setting my sights on more faraway places. Here is a list of places I'd like to see before I die:

1. Tristan da Cunha. This is #1 on my bucket list.

Photo source

I first learned about Tristan da Cunha in about 2009, from an article called "World's Most Remote Inhabited Place." I've always been fascinated with remote, isolated places and this is pretty much as remote as you can get. The Daily Mail wrote an interesting article about Tristan da Cunha which you can read here. Tristan is neat because people are not allowed to move there. There are just eight surnames on the island. The eighth surname is a new addition as of 2010 when a resident of Tristan married someone from the UK and they settled in Tristan. Everybody else is descended from the 15 original settlers.

2. Maldives. I found the Maldives one day in an atlas when I was a kid. Now that right there is a sentence you'll probably never hear from someone younger than me, as atlases are more or less obsolete! But anyway, as I mentioned above, I've always been fascinated by remote places and the Maldives seemed very interesting. I also had read that bananas were their main export and well, who doesn't love bananas?!

Male, the capital of the Maldives. Photo source

3. Antarctica. I figure since I've been so far north, I should go very far south. 

4. Spain. Ever since I saw the movie Morvern Callar (one of my favourites), I've wanted to go to Spain.

Photo source

I have less to say about these ones: 

5. Hong Kong

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. Alaska (Anthony and I plan to go when we visit the Yukon)

9. Los Angeles

10. New York City

11. Norway

12. The UK (my heritage is mainly English/Scottish so I would love to see my homeland)

13. Mexico City

I think I should be able to knock out at least some of those before I die, at least the US destinations at bare minimum!

What about you? Where do you want to go?