No More Braces!

Well, it's time for a braces update! Sorry it's kind of long-winded, that's just my way and you should know that by now!

Shortly after my last post, I woke up one morning to find that left molars were making just the slightest bit of contact. I was shocked, to say the least. We continued trying to pull them together until October, when my orthodontist agreed that it was probably as good as it was going to get, and it's getting to be time to take the braces off and just accept imperfect results.

I had another appointment in mid-November and I was so excited and nervous about whether he'd bring up removing the braces. At the very end, he said they were ready to come off any time, so I wanted the next available appointment! They actually had the next day but cautioned me I'd just had an adjustment so it's better to wait. In the end, I waited 13 days and those days dragged so slowly.

I was kind of hoping I would get a specific assistant at my removal appointment because she's always been so nice and supportive. She's been working on me since the very beginning. I remember she told me when I first got started in 2013 that they have some patients that they just know are going to have a really beautiful smile, and I was one of those people and she was looking forward to seeing my results. Fortunately, she was assigned to me for my removal so I was happy about that.

I'd read several blogs, talked to people I knew who had braces, and watched several videos about the removal process so I would be prepared. In the end, I felt like the process wasn't as bad as I'd heard. There were only a few moments of pain and they were over quickly. I had forgotten to take ibuprofen beforehand and I was fine.

When I finally got to look at my naked teeth about an hour after the start of the appointment, my teeth looked HUGE! I had heard other brace faces say that about their own teeth and I was convinced I wouldn't think that. I think it's just the shock of seeing so much unobscured white. Speaking of white, I was also shocked to see I had zero staining from the braces. I had always just assumed I would need to do a round of whitening afterwards because of how much black coffee I drink. I also didn't think I did that great a job of brushing, but the assistants told me I'd taken good care of my teeth. I do have one cavity, where one of the molar bands was.

I spent the rest of the day in Sarnia seeing people I knew and enjoying food! It was very strange eating my first meal sans braces, which I did very soon after leaving the orthodontist. It was just as weird as the first meal with braces, but the opposite feeling of weirdness, if that makes sense. It felt amazing. I love chewing without braces, it's still a novelty to me.

Two weeks later, I picked up my retainer, a purple Hawley (the kind with the wire). I decided to purchase an Essix (invisible tray style) to wear during the day because I have to wear a retainer 24/7 for the first year, and I am sick of having metal on my teeth.

Aside from that fun, I am still battling jaw pain and tightness, which I have been since the surgery. Some days are worse than others. Sometimes my jaw clicks relentlessly while I eat, and sometimes it doesn't at all. I would have to say that as far as TMJ symptoms, it become quite a bit worse since surgery. I probably need to go back to my physiotherapist and start actively working on stretching my jaw more.

So after all this, things aren't perfect. My left side still doesn't make contact other than my canine and my second molar. I think my surgeon should have tilted the left side of my jaw down since I have a slight cant. The right side of my lip lifts up noticeably higher, making the cant look worse. I will post a photo that shows both of these things. I am a little disappointed by these things and I do think I should have gotten a second opinion before I had the braces taken off. I don't regret not getting another opinion, but it will always be a "what if" in my mind.

Overall, I am happy I went through everything and I am happy despite falling short of the expected perfection. I am a little self-conscious of my wonky lip but I honestly doubt most people will ever notice it. Mostly, I'm just glad to be done. So. Freaking. Glad. I just want to get back to a place in life where I'm not thinking about my teeth all the time. At this point, I've spent considerable time thinking about my teeth every single day for three years. One could argue that it's not emotionally healthy to be so focused on something like that for so long.

The very first no-braces selfie I took!

My new friend, Hawley. We'll be going to bed together every night for the rest of my life.

Retainer smile.

Here's where you can see that my lip isn't symmetrical, worsening my slight cant. It wasn't from surgery; it's been like that for years.

Before and after

And here's some of the garbage I went through to get where I am now:

The day I got my RPE installed, but before any treatment had actually begun. RPE = hell. This is THE "before" photo!

Hey Jaime, The Gap called...

Two days post-op from double jaw surgery + sliding genioplasty

Trying really hard to smile two weeks post-op.

Elastics prison.

Now you'll find me staring at my teeth in any reflective surface I can find!
I did two vlogs recently as well. One right before I got my braces off, and one the day after. Here they are:


If you're reading this in the future, feel free to ask my questions about SARPE, braces, and/or jaw surgery. I'd be happy to answer your questions.

I also recommend acquainting yourself with ArchWired which has been an invaluable part of this process for me. Check out the Metal Mouth forum while you're there. You may even run into me on there, I'm still an active poster and probably will be for awhile.

8 Months Post-op Double Jaw Surgery & Sliding Genioplasty

It's been three months since I made an update about my jaw, so I figured I would write a new post.

I've been keeping up with my vlogs on YouTube every month because it's easier to make a video than it is to type up an entry, take photos, and then upload said photos. So check out my channel here.

Numbness:
The inside of my mouth feels completely normal now. The nerves in my palate right behind my front teeth might be damaged, but I can't really tell. I don't know how sensitive it was before the surgeries or if that part of the palate is just dull for everyone. For instance, if I rub a finger along that spot, I don't really feel it. But I'm sure I would feel it if I was poked with something sharp.

Swelling:
It continues to go up and down. I looked really swollen in my 7-month post-op video and I have no idea why. I don't notice the fluctuations unless I've made a video or taken a photo and compare it to old ones.

Chewing:
This continues to improve slowly. Still can't chew raw veggies. I tried to bite into a slice of grilled carrot in January and it made me sore for a few days. If something is difficult to cut with a butter knife, chances are, I will struggle to chew it. But I don't feel too restricted anymore...the only things I consciously avoid are raw vegetables, steak, and crispy bacon.

Ortho Appt:
I had an orthodontist appointment last week. To my dismay, I am back in class II triangle elastics because my overbite has relapsed again. I've been extremely frustrated for months because it seems I've gotten no closer to getting my braces off. My ortho and I had a good conversation about it, and he actually admitted that I am not progressing properly. He is "puzzled" about why my bite won't close on the left, and why my class II keeps relapsing. I also still have limited ROM in my jaw; I can't open as far as I should be able to, nor can I move my jaw forward or side to side.

Two days after my appointment, I got a call from the surgeon's receptionist saying he wanted to see me, "ASAP." Ugh. I am going on Monday to get another x-ray. I hope I get some answers as to why things aren't going well. I've relaxed now but for a few days I was petrified I was going to need another surgery.

Other:
I do have some good news that sounds like bad news. In December, my TPA wire started bothering me all of a sudden one day. I called the ortho's office and they had me come in immediately. The right side of the wire was embedded in the tissue so my ortho removed it and said it can stay out unless necessary. I was thrilled. It still feels weird to have my tongue rest in my palate completely. I am still super aware of my palate all the time but it's getting better. I no longer have a lisp when saying K sounds which is great. I will admit that now that it's out, I realize it really wasn't that obtrusive.

Photos:


Not sure why the quality of this photo is so bad, sorry.



Swelling pretty much gone.


I love how I look from the side now, big improvement.

And in case you forget what I looked like pre-surgery:




I still have some lip incompetence.


Open bite.


Latest Video:

My 20s: 20 & 21

On November 21st, I officially became closer to 30 than to 29...the last foggy breath of my 20s is merely lingering in the air, about to be snuffed about the cold, harsh reality of my 30s. Okay, I really don't feel that dramatic about it. I actually like getting older. For the last couple years, I've even thrown the 30 card out like it's a source of pride.

This is around the time that women start to feel uncomfortable admitting their age, but I've never felt like I'll be one such woman. I suppose this is made easier by the fact nobody can ever accurately guess my age. I'm still getting carded for booze and lottery tickets on the regular. Yeah, lottery tickets. Apparently I look 17 or younger. Every time I get carded for a lottery ticket, I can't help but laugh as I dig my ID out of my wallet.

17
The thing is, even though it's kind of a compliment to look 17, I definitely don't miss being 17. I will never be one of those people who wistfully sighs when reminded of their teenage youth. High school wasn't the best time of my life, far from it. Sure my skin was smoother, my hair shinier, my triceps less jiggly, but I was nowhere near as content, confident, or forgiving as I am now. I was actually kind of an asshole back then.

My twenties have been interesting in so many unexpected ways (hence the name of my blog). I might only live 100kms away from where my 20s started, but everything has changed.

Because this is going to be long, I am splitting it into several entries.

20 (May 2006 - May 2007): The dawn of my 20s had me working at a call centre in London, Ontario. It was my first experience living away from home and being "on my own" (I was living with my ex). In 2005, I started working at a call centre doing inbound technical support for an American Internet service provider. I was good at my job, but dealing with angry people all day was extremely draining and upsetting. I don't know how people mentally compartmentalize having people scream obscenities at them all day, because I sure wasn't able to. 

20th birthday in Montreal

I had few friends, no hobbies, never cooked, rarely cleaned. I'd go months without doing laundry, days without showering. I was a mess, physically and mentally. Looking back, I was a textbook case of depression, but I didn't realize it. I just thought I was getting used to the grueling "real world." I thought all there was to life was working and dreading going to work because that was literally all I did with my time. I dreaded going to work so much that I often had such severe anxiety on my "Monday" (Saturday), I couldn't fathom leaving the apartment and I'd have to call in sick. I can remember lying in bed before work and my heart would pound so hard with anxiety that the headboard would tap the wall with every beat. I was completely consumed with hating my life, it was all I thought about. When the opportunity arose to move to Nunavut, I gathered my things and excitedly said goodbye to everything I was leaving behind in Ontario, including my depression. My ex and I got married in July and moved away 12 days later. If I'm being totally honest, I'm not sure I had complete faith in the marriage from the start, but I thought it was "good enough" at the time to get married and I thought that was the best anyone could ask.

Leaving London did wonders for my mental health. I got over my depression and fell in love with Rankin Inlet right away. I had been accepted into Fanshawe College but because I left Ontario instead, I decided to go to school in Rankin. I took Management Studies at the community college which ended up being a good way to meet people and learn about Inuit culture first-hand, something I will forever cherish. I finished up 20 by being offered a temporary position with the federal government.

A day or two before I turned 21
21 (2007-2008): I turned 21 while on a plane to Halifax for my first vacation out of the north. When I returned from vacation, I began the aforementioned job, which I've long considered the best thing to happen to me. My job duties fit my skills nicely, and my experience at the call centre made the new job feel like a dream come true (you mean, I can go to the bathroom for more than 5 minutes and not get in trouble?!) I was often left alone in the office which was terrifying at first. After just 6 months of working there, my boss joked that I ran the place. The job and the organization were (and are) a good fit for my personality, which is why I'm still doing the same thing 8 years later.

Happiness, June 2007

I had been involved with community theatre as a teenager and met many wonderful people there, but it wasn't until I started this job that I really felt like my surroundings allowed me to flourish. It sounds corny, but my coworkers were so cool. They were into fitness and being all-around good, decent people. I started being more health-conscious and looking at the world in a more positive light. I also finally felt like I fit in, which I had never experienced before. 

The second half of 21 was rough, and it's when things started to go downhill in the marriage. I think people thought I thought I was blameless, but I fully admit I was 50% of the problem.

Selfie, November 2007, I was as emo as I looked (but damn that was a great eyebrow wax)

For no fewer than about 50 reasons, I decided I needed to not be married. It was a very difficult decision to make; I don't know how people with kids, mortgages, etc., do it. It was hard enough being 21 and only married for 18 months. Someone I thought was my good friend completely betrayed me in the process of "supporting" the divorce. Suffice it to say, it became abundantly clear I was making the right choice to leave.

Fortunately my work pulled through for me and offered me a position in Iqaluit. A few months before turning 22, I moved to Iqaluit alone and had to start all over again making friends and starting a new job. Those first few months were hell. My boss in Rankin had told me, "the next little while of your life is going to be nothing short of a roller coaster." He doesn't know how accurate he was. I had to learn to rely on myself fully for entertainment, cooking, cleaning, and everything I had taken for granted. I had nobody to talk to about any of the stuff I was going through, and it's a wonder I didn't drive myself insane. 

Emptiness/loneliness/having a whole bed to myself, Iqaluit, April 2008
By the time I turned 22, I was starting to become more comfortable with the new normal.

To be continued...

NaBloPoMo Day 20: Favourite things from weddings

I know, I know. I'm already done Saturday's entry and I haven't finished Friday's. I wasn't home at all on Friday except to pack my stuff and leave for Ann Arbor. Anthony and I went out last night so I really was not home at all yesterday.

Today I counted them up, and Anthony and I have been to 14 weddings together, which span 2010-2015. This excludes our own wedding. I had only been to one wedding before Anthony and I started dating, and that was back in 1994!

At this point, we consider ourselves wedding connoisseurs. Some of the weddings have been more memorable than others for various reasons, but we always have a good time when we're celebrating love with our friends!

When I was soliciting ideas for blog posts, it was suggested on my Facebook that I write about cookie tables, which are a wedding tradition in Pittsburgh (where we had just attended a wedding). I decided to modify that a bit and discuss my favourite parts of weddings we've been to. I keep saying, "we" but these are actually what I've liked...although Anthony did help me remember a few details.

These are in no particular order:

1. Great wedding favours. I'm always a fan of edible wedding favours but we've been to a few weddings with really cute take-home favours. One wedding gave each guest a laminated cookbook of recipes contributed by friends and family of the bride and groom. Another wedding had mini picture frames with a photograph of the couple. Another couple who have travelled a lot together gave these little boxes made out of folded maps, and inside was a mini travel journal and Michigan M-shaped crayons.

2. The cookie table! Of course I had to mention this. I had never heard of this tradition until our friends who live in Pittsburgh asked me to bring some Canadian cookies for their cookie table. I had to google this strange (but compelling) request, which led me to the Wikipedia article about it. I was immediately excited as I love cookies, and now I knew there would be cookies at this wedding. I think typically the cookies for the cookie tables are homemade, but I decided to bring cookies that are popular in Canada but not sold in the US. I brought Fudgee-Os, Mr. Maples, and Pirates. Honestly, it's kind of ridiculous that Fudgee-Os aren't sold in America, but hey, I guess Americans have been doing just fine without them. From what I could tell, the Canadian cookies got eaten up which made me proud.

Now that I'm thinking about it, we did go to a wedding last year in Michigan that had a table set up with more slices of wedding cake and vanilla frosted sugar cookies! The lady who had baked the cake and cookies was there serving up the goods, and they were so friggin' good that I think I went back for seconds, thirds, fourths and probably 67ths.


The cookie table from the Pittsburgh wedding

3. Having the ceremony and reception in one location. We've been to a few weddings like this and I think it's great. For starters, it usually means the whole event is a bit shorter as there is no break between the ceremony and reception. Secondly, it makes parking and driving much more convenient as you're not driving to and/or paying for parking at two different locations. As you may know, Anthony and I had our ceremony and reception in one space and I was happy about it.

Honourable mention: photo booths. Us and my princess brother at his wedding.

4. Candy tables! Not quite as unique as the Pennsylvania cookie table tradition, but pretty great nonetheless. Bonus points if the couple has provided "doggy bags" to take some home.

5. Open bar. I don't need to explain this.

Us on a party bus, on the way to a wedding in Minneapolis

6. Celebrity officiant. Our good friends who live in Cleveland had Andrew WK officiate their wedding which was pretty cool. Andrew even stayed for the reception with his wife. I only had the chance to talk to him once but he was friendly and polite. Pretty badass.

Also, Bone Thugs n Harmony were staying at the same hotel as us in Cleveland which was amusing.

7. Interesting venues. We've gone to some pretty beautiful weddings including outdoors in Maui, an old church in downtown Detroit, a botanical garden, and one of my favourite weddings: a top floor event space at a Vegas resort. Said space had a balcony with an amazing view of Vegas and the surrounding area, as well as a rare desert lightning storm.

The aforementioned Maui wedding

8. I think above all, my favourite thing about weddings (besides seeing our friends tie the knot) is getting to spend time with our friends. The best times in life are spent with friends, and weddings allow for lots of hangs with friends.

Honourable mention: weddings with cornhole (Photo by Victoria Way Photography)

NaBloPoMo Day 18: A Day in the Life

Sorry for being a day late again, but it's kind of hard to blog about a day in my life when the day isn't over! And sorrynotsorry, I wasn't about to stay up past midnight just to post it.

7:20AM: My alarm goes off (for the second time) and I get out of bed. I slept in a little bit today because I had been in such a deep sleep.

I try to do as little as possible before work so I can sleep as long as possible. Generally I do the bare minimum to make myself look presentable, then grab some breakfast to take with me to work (usually packaged cheese and a hard boiled egg, but this week I've been taking a slice of the banana bread I made).

Two things I always do in the morning:

Leah and I have a ritual where she comes into the bathroom while I get ready and she meows at me until I give her a 2-minute full body scratch. Afterwards, she leaves and leisurely rolls around on the carpet, temporarily satisfied with life.

I also always, always make the bed.

7:50AM: Leave for work. Running a few minutes behind today since I slept in.

This is my car for the day, a 2011 Ford Fiesta. Admittedly, it's my car every day but saying it's "for the day" makes it sound like I have multiple cars or am otherwise rich and important.

Today is unseasonably warm and I'm excited about a run later.

The last few days I've only been listening to Pete Yorn's Musicforthemorningafter album while I drive.

8:00AM: I arrive at work. Yup, I have a short commute!

8:00:01AM: The first order of business is to brew a sweet, sweet coffee.

Today's coffee, which I bought from Walmart (ugh) last night. I've never had it before but it's not bad.

Now I can take over the world.

The second order of business is to rip a page from my someecards daily calendar. Today's joke is eerily timely considering the latest about Charlie Sheen being HIV positive.

Also, it's only 9709 more days until I'm eligible to retire. It's flying by, I tells ya!

9ish AM: Because I am a coffee fiend, my coworker and I grab a coffee from Blackwater Cafe, a long time favourite cafe of mine which recently reopened.

Noonish: I leave for lunch. Since I live so close to work, I go home every day. Today I made a grilled cheese sandwich with the whole wheat bread I made last night, which unfortunately didn't rise very much. The sandwich turns out okay but I still can't chew crusts, womp womp.

I work on this entry a bit and then lie down in my bed to surf the Internet on my iPad. I love my relaxing lunches.

Another lunch time ritual: vitamins!

1-4PM: Back to work. I'm alone most of the afternoon which is always nice, but it can be hard to stay awake when it's so quiet. I don't think I could ever work from home.



4:10PM: Arrive home. The weather forecast can't seem to tell me with any certainty when or how hard it's going to rain, so I lie in bed for a little while with my electric blanket and iPad, trying to decide what to do with myself.

6:30PM: I awake from a nap, oops.

7PM: It's now raining steadily and since I don't want to seem like the most boring person on the planet when people read this, I decide to do a workout in my room. This the space I have to work with:

Basically I would have zero issues staying in shape if I went to prison, considering I have similar floor space.

And this is my plan for the night:

Time to work them gams. I go through this workout twice.

It's a workout from Runners' World magazine plus some other stuff I added in. I said the next time I trained for a long race that I would incorporate strength training. This is my first time doing this workout and I like it, but I'm sore the next day!

No workout is complete without some text messages to my sister, whining about wanting junk food.

8ish PM?: No dinner tonight, just a snack. I have days where I don't get hungry in the evening (besides the aforementioned junk food cravings) so I don't bother making myself anything more than a snack. I have other days where I'm insatiably hungry in the evening so don't worry, I do eat.


9:00ish PM: After surfin' the 'net for awhile, I take a hot bath with a glass of Natural Calm, a magnesium drink I've been drinking every night.


10:20PM: Anthony calls for our usual nightly chat. When we first started dating, we would talk on the phone three times a day, but we have since dwindled down to once a night, 3-5 times a week, haha. A lot of it is, "How was your day?" "Same old."

This wasn't last night, but I am talking to Anthony in this photo so I figured I'd include it.

10:55PM: In bed with my iPad. When I'm at home in Sarnia, I always, always watch ASMR videos on YouTube before bed, as they are super relaxing and basically knock me out. Don't know what I'm talking about? Here's an article about it.

All ready for bed.

11:30PM: Lights out!

November 18th was one of the more boring days from my life, as you can probably tell. I do so much that when I have a day with no plans, I like to just relax.

I hope you enjoyed this boring version of a day in my life!

NaBloPoMo Day 12: Nunavut

Today the topic I have chosen is Nunavut, and I'm not really sure what I thought I'd write about. I've been wondering what to say about it. Since I've moved back, people often say to me, "Wow, you lived in Nunavut? What was THAT like?" and I always want to say, "You want me to summarize 4 years of my life in one sentence?" It's an impossible question, so I usually just smile and say, "Life changing."

I wasn't sure if I should make this a top ten list with something like "top ten life lessons from the north" or "top ten Nunavut memories." But I decided, I already have the topic. "Nunavut, what was that like?" Talking about it does involve me talking about my ex which some may find tacky of me now that I'm remarried, but I'd like to think there is a respectful way to cover the topic.

In spring 2006, I was dating my now ex-husband, J. We were living in London, ON and both of us were unhappy with our lives there. We disliked our jobs and didn't have any hobbies or friends; we were just going through the motions. I was applying to go to college and was accepted into the Computer Systems Technology program at Fanshawe College. Meanwhile, J started applying to interesting jobs around the country. I will never forget our initial discussions about Nunavut; I was completely repulsed by the idea. As his application progress for a position in Rankin Inlet moved along in a promising way, I warmed up the idea and was absolutely pumped when they offered him the job.

Me in an igloo, April 2010
We'd been together 2.5 years at that point and felt like we were in it for the long haul, so we decided to get married before we moved, which we did, and it was a small but fun wedding.

After frantically researching the best we could about how to prepare ourselves, we moved up on August 1st, 2006. I spent August exploring town and falling in love with the north. In September I started in the Management Studies at Nunavut Arctic College, which was a fun way to spend the next 6 months as I got to meet people and make friends. One of my instructors had actually been an instructor at Fanshawe and had lived a few blocks from us in London.

I don't want to discuss specifics, but things started to get difficult in early 2007; however, we were enjoying ourselves nevertheless. By the time school was over in April, we had made some friends and I was offered a temporary position with the federal government. That summer was some of the most fun I've ever had. Saturday nights at the Legion, board game nights with friends, weekend nights at our friend's cabin, quad rides out on the land. It was awesome. I was covered in mosquito bites, but it was awesome.

Things started to go more downhill in August. For still unknown reasons, I started to form massive blisters on the palms of my hands and fingers. They were extremely painful and spread quickly. The doctors and nurses couldn't figure out what was wrong, and they were throwing pills and creams at me like nobody's business. It was very unsettling as the problem got worse, and the doctors only got more confused. It was so bad that my hands were literally immobile. I couldn't unzip my fly, open doors, wash my hair, use utensils, etc. I was on a steady dose of Tylenol 3 which wasn't helping. Eventually I was diagnosed with dyshidrotic eczema and to this day, I never seen photos of a case as bad as mine. The photos on the Internet are laughably minor compared to what I went through. Fortunately it has never come back, which makes the whole thing all the more baffling.

Cape Dorset, April 2009
However, as that nightmarish episode of my life was improving by September, there was more drama in our lives. It really isn't my place to talk about it on this blog, but suffice it to say, it involved J more than it involved me, although it sent me into a tailspin of stress and depression. We were both medicating ourselves with alcohol which obviously doesn't work.

By the new year, things had only gotten worse, and our relationship was massively suffering. I looked at my life at the time; I was 21 and felt I was too young to be going through what I was dealing with, so I made the decision to walk away from the marriage and from Rankin Inlet. I could have handled the situation better, but life doesn't hand you a manual about how to navigate divorce, especially as a 21 year old.

I was offered another contract in Iqaluit so I moved there in March 2008. I'd never lived alone before and found the adjustment difficult, but also liberating. By summer I was emerging from my depression and found happiness in my life in Iqaluit. I made friends, was going to the gym, loved my job...things were great. My best friend Tori even came to visit me in December 2008 which was one of the highlights of my time in the north. In early 2009, I was given a permanent position with the government and was finally able to move into my own apartment. I had either been living in a staff house, house sitting, or living with a coworker for that first year. Moving into my own apartment was amazing, and I really settled into life.

Repulse Bay, November 2009
2009 was a great year. I feel like that's when I really started to come out of my shell and make friends. However, Iqaluit is a small place and the more time I spent out of the house, the more people started gossiping about me, which was awful. Unsurprisingly, the gossip made my life seem a lot more interesting than it actually was. I'd spend a Saturday night at home alone and then hear on Monday about how wild I had been at a party. Yup, if the "party" was my couch and "wild" was me falling asleep at 9pm.

By fall 2009, I started to look at ways to move on from Iqaluit. I began the process of applying to become a police officer with the RCMP and was optimistic and excited about it. That December, I began talking to Anthony online, not thinking much about it. I went home for Christmas and we met up with zero intentions of dating, and yeah. Here we are 6 years later, married.

By the end of my trip home that December, I knew I had to cancel my application process for the RCMP and pursue things with Anthony. I've gotten slack about it over the years from various people but I have no regrets. I flew Anthony up in April and July 2010, the latter trip was to help me finish packing to move. I left on July 21st, 2010 with mixed emotions.

April 2010
The adjustment back to life here was difficult, but I refused to acknowledge it at the time. I had been so used to the idea that I was doing something unique with my life, and then suddenly I was back in plain old southwestern Ontario, unemployed, living with my dad. I also started suffering from anxiety about driving, which is still an ongoing issue for me.

It has now been more than 5 years since I left. At this point, I don't think I would ever move back. I enjoyed my time there and learned so much about life, but it often felt like living in a fishbowl. I enjoy my anonymity here, especially now that nobody recognizes me post-weight loss and jaw surgeries. I enjoy Chipotle down here and being able to go on a weekend road trips. Anthony and I have had so many adventures, and I am looking forward to moving stateside and starting a new life there.

Sometimes I try to think about what my life would be like had I not moved to Nunavut, but it bothers me to think about it. I feel like I "grew up" there for all intents and purposes, and it has made me into the person I am now. I feel like I appreciate the small things in life, like a warm breeze or a mailbox full of Amazon shipments. :-) I am grateful for the people who stand by me in hard times, and for 24 hour grocery stores. I made some lifelong friends there and have so many cherished memories, there's no way I would have been able to fit them into a top ten list.

NaBloPoMo Day 11: 5 months post-op double jaw surgery + sliding genioplasty

Today is 5 months since my surgery so I'm doing my monthly update.

Numbness: My palate has really improved this month. Right behind my front teeth and the left side just above my teeth feel numb, but everything else is good.

The fleshy part of my chin is still about 90% numb. At this point, I kind of doubt it's ever going to go back to normal, but such is par for the course with sliding genioplasty. I imagine it'll improve a bit but probably not completely. I'm okay with this. I barely ever notice it, and I've gotten used to constantly feeling my chin for food/drinks/drool when I'm eating in front of others. It does feel weird wearing my hockey mask because I'm still not used to my chin actually sitting in the little chin pad thing!

My chin muscles still feel very tight, too. This part does bug me a bit and I hope it improves.

Swelling: Today I feel like I look a little swollen, but I spent a lot of time with my face pointing downwards so who knows. It's still slowly coming along. The photos below were taken the other day, FYI.

Chewing: Progress with chewing has slowed down, but it's still improving. Small bites of food are the only thing I can manage, but I can make it through ham, sausage or chicken now, as long as it's thinly sliced. Biting into things is getting better but it's still much easier to just cut everything with a knife and fork, especially since my jaw ROM is still limited to about two finger-widths.

Bite issues: My left side is still open. The "Cathy" elastics didn't do much as far as I could tell. However, when I last saw my ortho, he said my overjet was relapsing so I'm in class II triangular elastics now. They are fun fun fun (note the sarcasm)! The nice thing about the elastics is that they are correcting my midline right now as well, which you'll know has been an issue these past 5 months.

My ortho doesn't seem to be too concerned that my bite still isn't right 5 months after surgery but I am getting frustrated. I'd like to feel like I'm actually getting closer to a debracing date instead of just treading water.

Anyway...overall I'm still happy. I still think about my jaw a lot during the day but it's getting easier to not be so focused on it.

Photos:







Pre-surgery, I'm even wearing the same sweater!



Pre-surgery



Video: